Being a new parent is exciting, tiring, and sometimes downright scary. You’ve been given this incredible task of shaping a new person’s life and sometimes you aren’t sure if you’re doing more harm than good for your little one.
You know what doesn’t help make being a new parent easy? Other people’s parenting unsolicited advice. Strangers on the bus or at the grocery store that think it’s okay to help you raise your child.
Here are the top 5 things I won’t say to my friends, or strangers, with new babies
1. I hope your baby is breastfeeding/formula feeding/using a pacifier…
I won’t ask my friends how they’re feeding their child, soothing their child, or how much sleep their child is getting. I’ll just listen and smile. I trust that they’re doing what works best for their baby because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
2. It’s too cold (or hot) to take your baby outside
Friends, I won’t judge you for taking your baby outside in any kind of weather. You’ll stay active, your baby may have a sleep (or just enjoy the new scenery), and it’s a good to create the habit of going outdoors everyday — no matter the weather — right from the beginning.
3. Don’t hold your baby a lot; you’ll spoil them
Hold your baby as much as you want to. If you have a baby who prefers to hang out on their own, that’s great. But don’t feel like you’ll have a 17-year-old attached to your hip one day because you held your baby too much. Snuggle, kiss, tickle, and hold as much as you want, and as much as they need you to.
❝ Knowing how stressful it can be… offer advice only when asked. ❞
4. Your baby looks a bit small (or big) for their age
As a mama of a premature baby who had trouble in the feeding department at the start, it’s frustrating to hear strangers tell me their opinion about my little one’s size. I will simply squeeze cheeks, kiss bellies, and give love to my friend’s babies, no matter their size. I am certain doctors and other professionals in the field are keeping an eye on every one of those babies.
5. Someone looks cranky/tired/hungry/uncomfortable
Although everyone’s simply trying to lend some advice and a helping hand, this unsolicited advice can prevent parents from following their gut when someone who doesn’t know their baby as well makes guesses of their own. Knowing how stressful it can be, I will try to remain calm and offer advice to friends only when asked.
One thing I will tell my friends
One thing I will always say, when my friends ask for some words of wisdom, is to always follow their heart. Even when the latest and greatest parenting book you heard about at your moms’ group is telling you to do something, take a step back, and decide if you truly think that’s the best thing for your little one. Even if it’s your first go as a parent, you still know your little one better than anyone.
